


Freeze Your Brain

by LacrimosaTheDark



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Heathers - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slushies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-31 19:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacrimosaTheDark/pseuds/LacrimosaTheDark
Summary: Virgil is so confused. Recently, without fail, whenever he has some sort of issue, not long after, somewhere, he would find a slushie. And he has no clue who's doing it or why.





	Freeze Your Brain

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having a real tough time lately, so I've been listening to Freeze Your Brain on repeat, so it seemed inevitable that this idea popped into my head. Hope it's not too bad and I desperately hope it's not out of character. If it is, I apologise, my emotional state is currently Not Good.

Virgil was getting confused, and that quickly led to frustration. It seemed whenever Virgil got angry and stormed out, or got anxious and overstimulated and fled, within the next 24 hours, it would appear at his door, on the kitchen counter, in the fridge, once even on his bedside table. 

A fricking slushie.

He had no idea what it was about, or who was doing it (it had to be one of the other Sides, but none of them really made sense), but the only thing he found consistent with it was he always found it during or after he had an episode. He didn’t want to ask anyone, because what if he was wrong? Or what if he sounded accusing? What if they didn’t give him the answers he needed? Or what if they just stopped? As much as the random icy treats annoyed him, the fact that they were there without him willing them so meant someone was doing it for him. Someone cared. Which meant a lot for Anxiety.

One day, he caught the culprit red handed (quite literally, his hands were flushed from the cold drink).

“What the heck, Princey?”

Roman jumped in surprise and almost fumbled the cup in his hands. He looked up at Virgil and smiled. “O-oh, Virgil! You startled me! Announce your presence when you enter a room, would you?”

Virgil scowled. “Knock it off. What are you playing at?”

“I am not _playing at_ anything,” Roman huffed.

“Why are you going around and leaving slushies all over the frickin mindscape for me?” 

Roman shrugged. “I thought it might help you.”

Virgil’s nose wrinkled. “Help me how? How would ice cubes covered in overly-sugary syrup help me with anything?”

“I just got the idea from a conversation with Thomas the other day.” He smiled and held out the slushie, which Virgil took just so Roman wouldn’t drop it. “Try it,” he said with a wink, and sank out with his usual dramatic flair.

“W-wai--hey!” Virgil sighed irritably and sucked on the straw and winced. “Ow, crap.” He shook his head and continued to drink, completely disregarding the ache of the brain freeze.

It wasn’t for another two frustrating weeks that he had any idea what was going on. 

Patton had wanted to reminisce with someone, and also wanted someone to yank him out if he got too deep, and Logan was busy studying so it fell to Virgil. Not that Patton seemed particularly disappointed. He made sure Virgil knew he was only not the first option because Patton didn’t want to stress him out. But Patton had high hopes that he could ease Anxiety into some more friendly memories.

They had been in Patton’s room for a few hours, chatting and sharing, Virgil pointing out the embarrassing parts of their memories and Patton reaffirming their positives and trying to soften the edges of the embarrassment. They were at this point sitting in Roman’s corner, looking over past performances.

“Oh!” Patton giggled. “Remember when Thomas lost his pants on stage?”

Virgil frowned. “Uh, yeah. I had a frickin heart attack. We’re lucky it didn’t turn out too bad.”

“I think it was funny,” Patton hummed. “And that was a fun show, right? Actually, Thomas had to dress kinda like you, didn’t he?” He found a picture of Thomas in costume and hugged it to his chest before holding it out to Virgil.

“...”

“Virgil?” Patton asked, worried by his silence. “You okay, kiddo? Something wrong?”

“No, I’m...I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Which show was that, again?”

“Oh, you really don’t remember?” Patton asked. “I thought you were just teasing Roman when you didn’t get his reference! It was Heathers.”

“Hm.” Virgil stood from the floor and offered the photo back. “I think I’ve been here a bit too long. Sorry, Dad.”

“Oh, it’s totally fine, Virge!” Patton said, getting up. “You should go clear your head, after a goodbye hug!” He wrapped his arms tightly around the darker side, and ruffled his hair when he pulled back. “See ya later, champ!”

Virgil pretended his cheeks didn’t flush as he sunk out of Patton’s room and retreated to his own. As soon as he got there, he made a beeline directly for his laptop and plugged in his headphones. He googled the show Thomas had been in, but there wasn’t any video of it available. There was, however, full audio recording, and he went and listened to it.

As soon as he found what his memory had been niggling at, he was out of his room and heading to Roman’s. Because he was polite (and dramatic) he decided to not just pop up in Roman’s room, and instead shifted realms outside his door and began banging on it. Roman whipped open the door and glared.

“What do you want, twenty one problems?” he asked.

Virgil shrugged and pushed his way past Roman and into his room. Roman made aborted noises, clearly appalled, but Virgil ignored him as he sat backwards in a chair. He conjured a slushie and slurped it loudly, staring directly into Roman’s wide eyes. When Roman opened his mouth to speak, Virgil stopped sucking and held the treat out to Roman.

“Care for a hit?” he asked, cocking his brow. Roman’s jaw dropped. When Virgil didn’t get an answer, he shrugged and sucked the straw again until he winced.

“What...are you doing, Virgil?” Roman asked, his voice high in a way that Anxiety’s presence caused sometimes.

“You’re a geek, you know that?” he said, with a good-natured grin. “What did you even think you were doing?”

Roman paused, then sighed. “I was trying to...give you alternatives”

Virgil’s brow furrowed. “Alternatives?”

Roman held up his hand and promptly disappeared. Virgil did not like it, the look on Roman’s face or that he’d left without a word. Virgil waited impatiently, sucking his drink loudly to fend off the silence.

When Roman came back, he was very pale and he carefully held something out in his palm. When Virgil saw what it was, he stood up abruptly, nearly knocking the chair over, the little color visible in his face drained in seconds. He went to take it and Roman pulled his hand back. Virgil glared.

“Where did you find that?” he demanded. “Why do you have it?”

The prince took a deep breath, and set his eyes firmly on Virgil. “A while back I went in your bathroom looking for one of my styling products. You were the most likely of the others to have taken it. I found this while I was looking.” He glared at the object disdainfully, as if it had personally offended him. “It took all of my willpower not to dispose of it and confront you immediately. But then I considered that it might be better to watch it, to see how much you used it. And I thought, maybe, somehow, I could help you.”

“And you thought, what, brain freeze could substitute it?” Virgil would have rolled his eyes if he didn’t feel like everything would vanish if he so much as blinked.

Roman looked down and began making soft sounds. Virgil had to strain to hear, but Roman was singing.

“When the voice in your head says you’re better off dead, don’t open a vein...Just freeze your brain…”

He looked up at Virgil and Virgil himself felt frozen. He gulped harshly and tried to look anywhere but at the sweet, sympathetic eyes trying to stare into his non-existent soul. He ended up looking down at the melting drink in his hand. “You’re an idiot,” he mumbled.

“Maybe so,” Roman said. “But so are you, for doing this...awful, horrifying habit.”

“I know,” Virgil said. “It just...it’s a last resort, okay?”

Roman shook his head. “No, it’s not okay, Virgil.” 

“You’re not gonna give it back, are you?” Virgil asked dejectedly.

“No, I’m not,” Roman said. But to his surprise, he kept talking. “Unless you want me to tell the others about this, then I’m going to keep it.”

Virgil looked at him sharply, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I...don’t want you doing this. But I know...if I dispose of this before you’ve recovered from this...affliction, you’ll just conjure another one, and hide it better this time, and no one would know you’re still...hurting.” Roman nearly stepped forward, but seemed to think better of it. “I’ll keep it. That way, if you have the urge, you’ll come to me. I’ll try and talk you out of it, but I won’t keep it from you. At least this way, I’ll be there if something goes wrong. You won’t be alone.”

Virgil was not a crier. He did not cry. Patton and Roman cried. Virgil didn’t. Virgil was the dark one, the overpowering one, the strong one. But he felt the telltale pressure in his throat and the sting in his eyes. He looked at the ceiling and cleared his throat to try to get them to disappear. Roman just watched him silently, and if he knew what Virgil was doing, he was considerate enough to not mention it.

“Fine.”

Virgil pretended he didn’t see the bright, relieved, smile and the warm (he refused to think it was affectionate) look in Roman’s eyes. Roman carefully edged over to his bedside table, and put the small blade under his lamp; safe, hidden, but not somewhere he’d accidently brush against it and get cut.

Virgil swallowed around the lump in his throat before asking, “You still gonna force these slushies on me?”

Roman’s smile became a little more nervous, but it was quickly replaced with a coy mask. “Why would I stop now?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Whatever, King of the Nerds.”

Roman gasped. “Pardon you!”

Virgil smirked and held out his slushie. “You never answered my question.”

Roman tilted his head. “What question?”

“Want some?”

Roman’s smile was back full-force. “Only if you’ll watch the musical with me.”

At Virgil’s put-upon sigh of “ _fine_ ”, Roman took the drink and sucked as they moved to sit on Roman’s bed. As Roman set it up on his laptop, they went back and forth with the drink, refilling it as needed. Roman seemed content to listen while Virgil quietly (almost shyly) sang JD’s parts. Roman still sang almost everything else, though, and mouthed along to all of JD’s lines. Though Virgil nearly burst out laughing when Roman sang every part of Candy Store. Virgil teased him for playing the “mythic bitch” role so well. Roman pretended to be horrendously offended, which only made Virgil snicker.

After not hearing from either of them in hours, and particularly worried about Virgil, Patton went looking for his precious boys. He found them in Roman’s room, unconscious and practically wrapped around each other with a laptop on their legs, the screen blacked out from disuse. Patton smiled lovingly and left them to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, please? They really do keep me going, I'd really appreciate it.


End file.
